(Photo:2016 formal dresses)I KNOW you’re going to find this hard to believe, but I’m a trend setter.
Let me take you back a few decades, sorry years, and I will explain.
When I was a young scout I attended a camp.
One night the largest lad amongst us decided he would chase us.
This took place in near darkness.
I could see his shadow approaching me and I ran for it.
Unfortunately, I tripped straight over a tree trunk.
Luckily, he had lost me and moved on.
But as I silently lay there, a tremendous pain came over me.
I had torn my jeans and badly cut and bruised my leg.
When I returned home, my dad wasn’t best pleased that an expensive pair of jeans had been torn.
He didn’t seem that concerned I had hurt myself.
A few years later I was riding a moped.
A car was about to ‘cut me up’ while crossing a four-lane roundabout.
I avoided the collision, but realised I was going to hit the pavement hard.
So I pushed the moped one way and I ended up hurtling in the opposite direction.
As I lay on the ground, I realised I had badly cut and bruised my leg.
And yet again, an expensive pair of jeans had been ripped.
This time my dad wasn’t worried about the jeans.
No, he berated me for ruining the moped.
Again, little concern over the leg injuries.
So what trend was I ahead of here?
Why, ripped jeans of course.
Yes, you can spend a pretty penny on looking like you’ve been in an accident.
Of course, the fashionable name for it is ‘distressed jeans’.
I’ll say they’re ‘distressed’. I would be really upset to get a pair.
Who would have thought that jeans that look like they’ve been through a shredder would be ‘cool’.
Weirdly, you’re paying more for less material.
Still, that boat sailed a long time ago with the mini skirt.
And what about sagging jeans and faded t-shirts?
Other trends, which I had ‘first’ and people have followed, include ‘spiked’ hair.
When I wake up in the morning my hair looks like I’ve plugged my finger in a socket for the night.
I don’t need to ply mountains of gel on it to make it stick up.
But certain fashions I embraced won’t be making a comeback.
And more’s the pity.
For instance, my collection of bri-nylon fluorescent shirts.
Yes, in fetching luminous green and day-glo orange.
These were shirts that if you touched, you would sizzle for a week.
Don’t run a Geiger counter over them.
You could match those shirts with a pair of crushed velvet deep purple loon pants (spectacularly flared trousers for the uninitiated) and top the whole ensemble off with a pair of corduroy desert boots, obviously in khaki.
Yes, even the catwalks of Paris might struggle to shift that lot.
Another trend that won’t be repeated are the 1970s version of ‘penny collar’ shirts.
The collars were so big they touched your shoulders and made you look like your neck had vanished.
Indeed, if a strong wind came along it was all you could do to keep yourself from taking off.
And don’t get me started on skinny rib turtle-neck sweaters.
There comes a time in everybody’s life when you stop being a fashion victim and decide to wear what you want.
Some people would argue I started doing that at about 25.
But now I am happy just being comfortable.
Who knows, perhaps beige cardigans with a natty stripe on them can be hip again?Read more at:formal dress shops brisbane